Of masculinity & abusive breeding grounds.

masculinity

I’m posting over on Plymouth Brethren Dropout today. Follow me over there for an examination of how enforcing strict gender roles creates a hostile environment where abusers feel safe.

Masculinity has a very narrow definition within the Plymouth Brethren, and can only be expressed in dominance. The dominance given to men, according to the assemblies, is over the entire earth, over gatherings of local believers (especially women), over their wives, and over their children. In short, men are considered the representation of God’s authority on earth, and thus often cannot be spoken against.

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The Sad, Sad Story of A Really Nice Guy.

Gather round, gather round. Today’s story is very important, and you’ll want to be able to hear me.

It’s not THAT story, you guys.

Once upon a time, there was A Really Nice Guy. And all he wanted to do was help people.

This Really Nice Guy spent a lot of his time talking about the evils of discriminatory societal infrastructures (that usually didn’t directly affect him). But after all, he wanted to help people, and he saw that these systemic inequalities hurt people, so he had to speak up.

And speak up he did.

He soon built a reputation for speaking up about inequality and injustice, and it just so happened that people who experienced the discrimination he regularly denounced (but from which he was shielded) began to trust him. They even started looking to him for advice, which he was only too happy to give. After all, he wanted to help! And people wanted him to help them!

And so all was well.

But then dark days fell upon the Really Nice Guy.

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I don't want to be

Love is hard work.

I don't want to be

From vavva_92 on Flickr. Click image for original.

Content note: talk of self-harm, sexual assault, suicide.


I used to be a songwriter. Or at the least, a writer of poems. Then I basically stopped for a long, long time. For some reason, though, lately I’ve been turning back to poetry to express some of my thoughts. So I share this with you all (though it was originally meant only for me, then put on Tumblr, but I think maybe I should share more personal things on here that might not be so polished). Continue reading

Acceptable Femininity: some rambling thoughts about gender roles, high heels, and makeup.

Lately, as I’ve been delving into what feels like a whole new world of heels and cardigans and makeup, I’ve been thinking about how my opinion of femininity has morphed throughout my admittedly short life. I’ve noticed a pattern, and I’d like to share it with you:

My acceptance or rejection of the feminine within myself and others is directly related to my acceptance or rejection of misogyny.

I do really want to stress that this is an introspective piece, and that what has held true in my life absolutely doesn’t hold true for others. After all, I’m speaking as a white cisgender woman* — I wouldn’t dream of imposing my experiences or conclusions for myself on others who have not lived my life.

*What this means is that I was assigned the gender of woman at birth, and I’m comfortable with that assignment. (For those for whom this concept is new, I suggest checking out Hank Green’s wonderful video on sexuality and gender that I’ve included here.)


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